Damn, I'm back from a week visiting my Dad & stepmom & as much as I love them, I'm so glad to be back. Dial up sucks a big one, for sure!
Whenever I go to visit my family I'm always reminded how distinctly different my life is from theirs. They always have the TV on & never play any music. Very weird, since I usually have some music on & don't watch regular TV(& don't even have cable since it's not worth the exorbitant amount of money the cable co. charges). We sat at dinner with no music, NO f'n music! It was very strange.
My Dad & I seem to manage to have some pretty interesting discussions though. Since I'm a liberal & he's a conservative we've had to agree to disagree which works out pretty well really. We respect each others opinions & learn from each other. I know my Dad really tries to see things from my perspective but at times it's pretty difficult for him to do.
We seem to talk alot about movies since we both enjoy them. He likes gangster movies but only if they are on TV & censored. For me that takes all the fun out of the reality of gangster movies. I mean, what's the goddamn point if there's no bad language? So I just leave that alone although I've expressed my opinion about the bad language lending authenticity to the realness of the story. Right wingers are very strange, but then again the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, lol!
We also talk about music. I turned him onto John Hiatt a few years ago and he really likes John alot. I was also showing my Dad my Mog & Muliply pages & he pretended to be interested for a few minutes, lol. I was telling him about Wilco another time & brought my laptop out & played him their newest cd "Sky Blue Sky" which he liked. I told him about Wilco's struggle with their record company and how the parent co. ended up buying their "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" recordings twice when all was said & done. He thought that was a pretty cool story.
My Dad is a pretty cool guy for an old scutter, lol. I'm going to buy him Wilco's cd for his birthday coming up next month to get him started on his own Wilco collection(Although I doubt he'd like "A Ghost Is Born" Or "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" due to their experimental nature, but then again you just never know). My stepmom is pretty great too & a real sweetie, in fact I wish she was my real mom cause she's so much nicer.
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I hear ya. I always find it a relief to get back from a weekend with the parents. I love em, but we pretty much have nothing in common. They like to sit around the house and complain about how terrible their lives are and never are never positive about anything. It sounds like your experience with your parents is better. Be thankful.
I got my dad a copy of Elvis Costello's - My Aim is True and he did not like it. :(
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Ever since I thought I lost my dad in the WTC on 9/11 our relationship has been much different. Always the polar opposite of each other which is either odd or to be expected considering we're both Gemini's and I was actually born on his birthday. I've never seen my dad read a book, he falls asleep at almost every movie he's gone to see and his interest in music seems to have ended around the time my older sister was born, 1967. He's a Republican, he doesn't drink (and we're Irish too!) and he has no interest in traveling. Doesn't know a damn thing about art, can barely cook and lets my mother buy all his clothes. What she ever saw in him, I don't know. Since 9/11 he's still a bit shell shocked but at his core he's still the same. And that's fine.
This summer I introduced him to the concept of barbecuing with a beer of which I noticed they now keep a 12 pack of Newcastle on hand for such occasions and he even went out and bought Dylan's "Blood on the Tracks" after hearing it one day when I was working on their bathroom. Still no books, still a Republican, even though he dislikes Bush but voted for him a second time anyway (boggles my mind). But like I said, that's just fine.
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Parents....I wish I had a better relationship with mine, especially since I know they will be gone sooner vs later. What they have taught me is to try to be more involved (in a good way :P) in my kid's lives and to keep an open mind to their interests I don't share. I want them to look forward to seeing me and to seek me out if we haven't spoken in a couple of days. I think I've done ok so far but since they are 7 and 13, I guess I have plenty of time to mess it up. But at least they can never claim there wasn't music! LOL
Auggie! great to have you back! Dial-up, the abomination! Welcome back to the new millenium! :O)
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OMG Don't get me started. I could right a book about how deranged my own family is. Here's to being able to listen to music while you eat!
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It's so hard to push people into liking the music that you think they would like......(go ahead, read it a second time). August, I hope that you can share that common ground with your father, since it appears that it's common ground that you are longing for and trying to accomplish. And why not Wilco? Great album, great band. It took me years of suggesting to get my father to listen to ANYTHING I recomended, and now, he'll somewhat trust me, and at the very least, indulge me when it comes to musical suggestions.
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think this is an album that can bridge gaps !!! Might want to hold off on the QotSA...
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I agree LGE I think it can bridge gaps. Since I'm not a big QOTSA fan I don't think that will be a problem, heh.
I had replied to everyone's comments in a long comment before your comment Lizzie & now it's GONE, goddamnit. It showed up when I first posted it but it's not there now. Muthaf'n MOG! sheesh
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August I always am in amazement at how different I turned out from my parents, yet am still the same. Music was always a big presence in our house, then it went away when I was in high school. The tv ruled the house, and this was right when music became important to me. Over the years my parents have refound their love for music, and now when I go over it is always playing in the backround. If you are looking for the right Wilco album to get your dad, well I bought my father AM. He has a thing for simpler songs, and is a fan of the country sound.........you should also look at getting Golden Smog which is a colaboration of the members of Wilco, Son Volt, Jayhawks and others. I have made my parents many a mix tape and they always seem to like the Golden Smog songs.
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Kev, yea I had thought that AM would be a great cd for him since Sky Blue Sky is a throwback to that album. The TV ruled our house when I was growing up too, it was a generational thing since TV became popular when they were growing up. There was music that was played though like Creedence Clearwater Revival, Jerry Lee Lewis and Wayne Newton among others.
I'll check out Golden Smog, especially if it is a collabo between members of those groups. Thanks for the heads up!
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if need be I can always post on the M, just give me the nod
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Gusty - Glad you survived the visit, and maybe even found some common ground to connect to your dad with. Like a lot of the other folks commenting here, I can relate to the parental behavior. I've got to believe, when we're floating around in the ether and deciding to reincarnate in earthly form again, that we actually have some sort of plan, and that the parents we choose somehow make sense with that plan. Then again, maybe our spiritual selves are masochists.
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What a lovingly written reflection; sounds as if you have a 'healthy' relationship with your father and stepmother. Definitely buy the Wilco CD for him, and maybe throw in one of those gangster movie DVDs he enjoys (the ones without the 'bad' language - bet you can find those on the cheap). Glad you made it back from dial-up! Cheers.
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Ahh..such a familiar story..interesting. Your dad should like the c.d very much! Cheers!
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GC thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Believe me it is a relatively 'healthy' relationship in comparison to my real mom & I!
Sara, too familiar huh? I think we can all relate to family weirdness in some way. Hope you are doing well, nice to see you around.
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My dad is a study in contrasts. He listens to music constantly, and sometimes checks out new (to him) artists like Michael Buble or Norah Jones. But he also watches local news daily and will sometimes pick up CDs by artists who are visiting town, after watching just a short clip of them on TV. Thus I ended up with his copy of the last Sarah Slean album, which I adore! (A bit too weird for him.)
When I visit, Dad will often play "more modern" music that he thinks I will like, such as the covers album that Jann Arden did recently. But he also knows I don't mind listening to Johnny Cash with him. Then my mom, who does not have a musical bone in her body, blows me away when she tells me she saw Johnny Cash live...in 1958!!
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That's cool Darmuzz that you're Dad will play "more modern" music that he thinks you will like & also gives you cds that aren't quite his style. Wish my dad was more like that!
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I know exactly what you mean, I think its universal. I did this little dittie a few years ago
Its called families..
http://www.garageband.com/song?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSiaFO_Z2go
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Yes you're right these family dynamics are universal. Sometimes it's hard to remember that though when you're experiencing them. I guess that's why I mogged about it so I could hear from others that I'm not alone. Thanks for the song link, liking it. So this is a side project eh? I listened to the other songs too. Cool.
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This is my night job, so to speak.
The amount of responses you got to your post I think speaks volumes.
I spent 4 years in Therapy, as they say, when In NY.
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this is a great post, as it had me thinking about my own family... and,how i could trace back my life and associate some sort of music to each time, place and event.
the first concert my folks took me to. the first time i took one of them to a show that i was involved with. the songs my father would sing to us when we were kids. the songs that my mother recently asked me to put on a mix cd for her.
the songs that played when my friends 4 year old son passed. the songs that played when my friends recently wed. the first song i ever wrote. the last song i ever wrote.
music is the glue that binds us together. family, friends. and moggers alike.
as for eating dinner while listening to music. it's not something that i usually prefer to do. i can listen to tunes while preparing a meal, or washing the dishers. but i generally prefer light background music... during a meal. as to not interfere with the conversation.
"Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist." -- G. K. Chesterton
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Chris, yes the amount of responses here says it all. I also went through 2 yrs. of therapy myself & it was money well spent!
Zoot, yes music is what binds us together. Thanks for the thoughtful response. I too have many songs attached to certain events in my life, we all do. And I usually will listen to whatever I've put on for preparing a meal unless I'm planning on watching a movie(which happens often). Great quote, love it!